Often, we attempt to open to love, to attract it and to keep it. Why then, does it still take so many of us so long to claim, and even reclaim, our own lives? Imagine, if all the energy spent in attracting a partner, was first channeled into healing and expanding our own life?
If we look within, and begin to take note of all the various roles we have in this life, we begin to recognize a pattern. For most of us, the patterns and expectations are dominant from the outside.
How could we possibly be a good and loving partner for another, if we have not learned to love and honor our own Soul?
A major hurdle in relationships is the unhealed self. A self that is dominated by outdated patterns along with roles and expectations of society at large.
Taking Responsibility for Our Heart and Freedom
How do we take individual responsibility for our own life and our love life?
You may be reading this and be strongly and energetically dominated by an unhealed parental influence or have a feeling so strong of obligation to a friend that you subconsciously obey their every command.
Come, let us be free.
Have You Experienced True Love?
Everything Starts with Honesty
I believe by identifying and being honest about toxic patterns in our lives, that they can be healed and eliminated. I have yet to see something be healed without a person’s direct acknowledgement of having had the thought, action and behavior that created the unhealthy dynamic. This takes a deep level of honesty and commitment to Self growth and healing.
We must proclaim to ourselves that we will not buy the lies from ourselves nor from others. It will take each and every one of us changing old and limiting beliefs and systems in our lives, to create the outer changes needed to improve our love lives and our societies.
Learning to say ‘No’, so We can say ‘Yes’ to Our Hearts
I feel, we have to reach a point where we say no to everything and anything that does not nurture us. This is not a new concept. You will read of it in many self help books. If you spend all your time walking on eggshells to fit into another’s unhealed patterns or you walk on eggshells to not trigger your friend, you probably will not experience a healthy connection.
Many people begin breathing very shallow lives around the age of 30 and they live their lives backwards trying to be someone they once were while repeating the pattern they grew up around. In some cases, there may be some true desire of the person to not change and grow beyond that point. Yet, that is not evolution nor is it our nature. For most of us, we are constantly growing and evolving, and we must be true to our process.
Now is the Time to Awaken Our Hearts
If you are reading this, and you recognize inner and outer patterns that are keeping you stuck in old and outdated ways that no longer represent who you are today, go ahead and take a deep inhale and exhale, and just let it all go. This is your starting point and this moment is fresh and new. Simply, begin anew.
I have yet to meet a person who is not looking for true, authentic love. Everyone wants it. You find it through allowing yourself to move forward in expansiveness, authenticity, and with an affirmative yes to who you truly are with a strong sense of protecting your consciousness from all that which is not who you are.
We are This Love, so What Now?
Even those of us who know we are the love we seek; we too would love to have that most loving and intimate connection with another person. An intimate and loving relationship with a ‘Soul Mate’ or ‘Twin Flame’ has great value to help us as individuals grow and expand into who we truly are. A true, loving, heart-based, healed and whole ‘love’ can be so valuable when we create a loving space for it to flourish and reveal its gifts.
When looking for a partner and considering someone, a good starting point is to look at their attachments and relationships. Are they needing to live up to the expectations of their parent or child? Are they truly free, and what kinds of relationships do they have in general with their family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances?
If you notice any co-dependency or any overbearing neediness in their relationships, I would suggest starting out as friends only and seeing if they are able to heal lower energy patterns. Friendship first is always a great way to truly get to know someone.
Love with an Open Heart
The best way to begin a truly loving relationship is from within. Love from an open heart with pure and healed inner intentions will not only draw forth all you need, but will also heal our world.
The amount of love we can be, give out and share is important for our heart-conscious societies to evolve. Thus, we want to be sure we are not getting entrapped in someone else’s unhealed patterns.
Do ‘Soul Mates’ and ‘Twin Flames’ truly exist? Does it even matter, if we are not doing our own inner work? Does it even matter, if we choose relationships with people who are the provider of emotional and mental stability for others? We need to start creating conscious relationships from wholeness. And since we all want love, why not eliminate everything that is not love?
We must follow our heart in all matters.
Be Your Self, and Everything will Flower
Make conscious, mind-heart connected choices and take responsibility if you need to walk away from anything that does not serve your heart. If we cannot be free, then what are we even doing here? It is through this very Soul freedom, that we came here to create and form a new way of living.
What am I?
You are love, freedom and unlimited potential. Best you begin to expand into this knowing so that you can begin to live a beautiful, bountiful and loving life of greatness in wealth consciousness.
Meditate into Your Heart Space Every Day in Every Way
Expand on the inhale and see your Self as unlimited on the exhale. Breathe your dreams into reality.
You are Love.
Hi Ulonda! I find this post helpful. I don’t know if you remember me but we went to see Amma together in 2013. It would be great to get back in touch if you want to. In peace, Amy
Ulonda Faye says
Hello Amy, it is so very wonderful to hear from you. Thank you very much for reading and for writing. I absolutely do remember you and our wonderful visit to see Amma. I will send you a personal email. Sending much love & light, Ulonda <3